Tuesday, May 12, 2009

12:23:00 AM

well... updates? =x
boring school holiday for me to complete work.
but seems like none is done.
cant seem to get anything done today. just completely wasted another perfect day.
almost perfect day.
seriously i dont know what's wrong with me.
i cant do work at home? or is it just that im thinking about alot of irrelevant stuffs?
i was just back to thinking how life sucks now.
happiness never belonged to me?
or is it just i end up destroying it one way or another?
and once again, im back to my previously emo self.

no more a good friend. not even a friend.
it doesnt bother you. not at all.
insensitive bastard. here i used to think you really are a good friend.
ended up in disappointment. was it really my fault, i would think.
yet no answers given. what should i do then?
it really affects me, losing a good friend just like that without knowing the reason.
well.. not exactly lose. just.. this friend here is no longer of much importance to you i guess.
it has basically the same meaning.
do i really deserve it? to be lonely, with no one to joke with, to confide in.
what happen to the times, as many people would ask.
now i would like to ask too. whatever happened to the times?
where we would talk about almost everything, never running out of things to say?
or it's my fault for thinking so much and making everything awkward?
you can just move on to your gay partners, what about your supposedly good friend?
just cast her aside right? that's how people do it dont you?
you have no idea how much it affects me.
me, crying out loud in my heart here, you? having jolly time with your gay partners.
well. hope you had fun. cos i ~~seriously~~ did. very much.
told myself to stop thinking about the times, stop thinking what i've done to deserve this.
i cant. why is that so..
you dont even care, so why should i care..
ignoring you and suffer in silence is all i can do.
just hope time will really heal the wound. i guess.. you dont even know how i feel either..
just venting my frustrations here, nobody will see it..
perfect.
however.. i seriously dont want things to stay the way it is..
any ways to salvage it? dont want it to be one-sided again..
hah.. guess you wont want it anyway.
im just like replying to my own questions here. stupid me.
i hate this me.. starting to become more like lynn i guess..
i dont care. I DONT CARE ANYMORE.

that's why i hate conflicts.
and im just being a random girl here.

&the beauty.

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