x____

Sunday, May 31, 2009

11:11:00 PM

hmm... here to update.
first of all, my phone spoil.
cos of my itchy hands bah.. irritating.
the screw come out stuck at the sliding part then i go pry it out in the end phone spoil.
lol. but alarm still can ring. not bad.
going service it tmr i guess.
but sis angry with me now .__.
hais.. so now using my mum's phone..
aiya i also dont know what to update..
having econs paper on wed..
then so far only revised on central problem..
which is only 1/5 of the notes i have..
arghh... aiya very frustrated now.

hmm.... holiday... first week almost everyday need go back school..
then next next week maybe meeting peeps out for kbox hopefully.
and i want go siloso beach play volleyball!
ah gong where is my volleyball? lol.
bahhhhhhhhhh. i dont know what to update alr.
boring...

sometimes i do things i dont think through or i dont mean them.
it's my fault but cant a better approach be used?
speechless and helpless.
what's done is done. what do you expect me to do?

&the beauty.

12:23:00 AM

well... updates? =x
boring school holiday for me to complete work.
but seems like none is done.
cant seem to get anything done today. just completely wasted another perfect day.
almost perfect day.
seriously i dont know what's wrong with me.
i cant do work at home? or is it just that im thinking about alot of irrelevant stuffs?
i was just back to thinking how life sucks now.
happiness never belonged to me?
or is it just i end up destroying it one way or another?
and once again, im back to my previously emo self.

no more a good friend. not even a friend.
it doesnt bother you. not at all.
insensitive bastard. here i used to think you really are a good friend.
ended up in disappointment. was it really my fault, i would think.
yet no answers given. what should i do then?
it really affects me, losing a good friend just like that without knowing the reason.
well.. not exactly lose. just.. this friend here is no longer of much importance to you i guess.
it has basically the same meaning.
do i really deserve it? to be lonely, with no one to joke with, to confide in.
what happen to the times, as many people would ask.
now i would like to ask too. whatever happened to the times?
where we would talk about almost everything, never running out of things to say?
or it's my fault for thinking so much and making everything awkward?
you can just move on to your gay partners, what about your supposedly good friend?
just cast her aside right? that's how people do it dont you?
you have no idea how much it affects me.
me, crying out loud in my heart here, you? having jolly time with your gay partners.
well. hope you had fun. cos i ~~seriously~~ did. very much.
told myself to stop thinking about the times, stop thinking what i've done to deserve this.
i cant. why is that so..
you dont even care, so why should i care..
ignoring you and suffer in silence is all i can do.
just hope time will really heal the wound. i guess.. you dont even know how i feel either..
just venting my frustrations here, nobody will see it..
perfect.
however.. i seriously dont want things to stay the way it is..
any ways to salvage it? dont want it to be one-sided again..
hah.. guess you wont want it anyway.
im just like replying to my own questions here. stupid me.
i hate this me.. starting to become more like lynn i guess..
i dont care. I DONT CARE ANYMORE.

that's why i hate conflicts.
and im just being a random girl here.

&the beauty.

12:03:00 AM

here to update. decided not to close blog.
it's a place for me to vent my frustrations right? =D
well.. this week.. somewhat uneventful but.. sad?
dont know the right word to describe.
just nothing goes well for me this week..
never really do much except for going school..
had science week, science exp exhibition on thurs.
boring for some.. and some quite funny.. =/
and went to a friend's house with alot of ppl at eunos yesterday.
or the day before since it's past 12 now.
stayed there till 5+ and went over to grandma house for dinner.
managed to complete maths homework only..
then when i went over to grandma's house they tell me no more food. =.="
okay lah whatever.. went home at about 8+.
uneventful right? =/
i dont think my blog updates are interesting anyway. =x

but feeling unsettled. why do humans change so fast?
things just dont stay as the way they are.
cant we stay as what we are instead of being so fickle-minded?
i said i dont care.. but i just cant do it.
i've tried. i tried so hard.
yet it has been in naught.
am i really just thinking too much?
i dont think so, it's you who've changed.
it is no longer the same. you didnt realise.
or should i say, you dont care.
nothing to say? you're not even trying.
if it's true why do you have things to chat with others?
or it's just that we dont have a common topic?
then what had we been doing for the past 3 months?
craps? rubbish? nonsense?
or at the very end im to blame?
for flaring up, getting pissed at every small things, being irritating?
yeahh, whatever caused you to change, it's still my fault in the end.
i will accept the fate i guess.
whatever will be, will be. im not going to try anymore.
you want to talk, then talk. if not, i dont care. not anymore.
it's for real this time. but i guess it doesnt matters to you.
since i'd become a nobody to you already..
i guess i really am just a weird girl.

&the beauty.

5:50:00 PM

lol. back to posting!
after blog being dead so long =x
almost 2 months wahaha.
i've been failing my tests ahh. sian.

anyway, just went for class outing on friday (labour's day)
initial plan was to ice-skate first then decide movies/bowling later.
however there's ice resurfacing soon when we reach there.
so they decided to go bowling first.
watched them play and tried two times all gutter balls lol.
sad case. after that we went back to buy tickets into the ice skating rink.
stupid guy lah so slow made us queue up for so long. lol.
we went in, rent the skates and skate~
overall quite fun lah, though i fell alot of times x.x"
and the price is damn ex lah.
after 2hrs of skating, we went to eat and then after that decided to go city hall.
as there got cinema + pool + bowling.

then we go there decided to play pool. =x
i damn pro can, the cue ball will jump one =D
lol. overall conclusion is my aiming sucks. =(
booked the table for one hr, then slacked and chatted abit.
went home at 8+ and reached home at 9+ =/
that's all =D
i also dont know what to update alr.

hmm..
should i consider closing blog?
since im lazy to update and all.. =/

&the beauty.