Wednesday, April 26, 2006

8:32:00 PM

haiz.. today after school stayed back for the oral presentation thingy... then after that went to acc cher to her house to take money for taking passport sized photos for the beijing trip thingy... then her mum made sushis for us to eat =] so kind... then we went northpoint to take the photo... then we go walk walk while we wait for the photos to be developed... after that we went home.. i stopped at sun plaza for awhile... then i saw him.. he is eating in cavana... *shocked* y he in sun plaza.... omg... then i went home soon after that..........

&the beauty.

6:31:00 PM

today gt remedial after sch... can only go down and eat lunch at 2.15... then after me and cher bought our rice and found a place to sit.. then i notice something..... he was beside me.......... haiz... then after eating our lunch we went up back to class for maths remedial... we were dismissed at around 4 then i go sun plaza bought fries... went home and come online.. first one to open conversation was him... asked me wat i wanted to ask him... then he asked me is like him or love him... i said i dunoe.... i really dunoe the ans... what do you expect me to say? it wouldnt change the fact that he already has a gf, would it? even if it can change the fact.. my ans will still be the same... cos i really dunoe... and he said until like i didnt wan to say... wat more can i say when he actually misunderstood me? tears just fell suddenly... i got nth more to say to him... since he wan to think this way.. let him be... he juz wouldnt care anyway.....

&the beauty.

6:52:00 PM

haiz... sometimes i feel like i am a complete idiot.. monday after doing my bazaar duty, waited for the rain to cease... then it's either he walking in front of me... or im walking in front of him...... y i just cant give up from the beginning..? and i still cant after i knew he has a stead... im just tormenting myself... im really a complete idiot huh?

&the beauty.

11:07:00 PM

sent him another letter the day before yesterday before.. i dunoe wat he replied but wat goush told me really made me feel happy.. but today i saw him at morning assembly.. we are like total strangers... standing right in front of me yet not saying anything... after the assembly we gt dance meeting.. then he walk past too.. not looking at me even.. haiz.. then after sch say peck ann then he reminded me of his stead.. and i found out that she is a sec 1.. who was the one who told me tat there's a huge age gap between sec 1 and sec 4 when he knew who i liked last yr..? now he's goin out with a sec 1... haiz... humans really never preach wat they say... and he just dashed my hopes.. when i had just held them so high... either say yes or no... leaving me like this...? and all my letters... he didnt reply too... what's the use of writing then..?

&the beauty.

4:51:00 PM

heex.. using bazaar's comp come post de.. =X knew that he had a stead long time ago... but still fell for him..? so stupid.. haiz.. ended up hurting myself too... decided not to like anyone else ler... it is one misery after another...

&the beauty.

7:22:00 PM

haiz... yesterday tot badminton club gt play badminton.. then stay in sch wait for them to borrow racquets and play.. but gt the achievement day rehearsal thing.. then no one play badminton.. only gt 4 stupid seniors dun let us play.. then stay back to watch the parade rehearsal.. half-way then raining.. everybody run inside the canteen.. lol.. then rain ceased and until the scouts 'play' with fire.. the rain pour again.. stood outside the hall to see him.. then they come up rehearse at the hall.... he stood in front... haiz.. lucky bernice beside me.. =] then after that i run down go see eereena then she say her dad come fetch her... dump me go home myself.. sobx sobx.. haiz.. then go home myself lor =) then at msn chatted with peck ann.. asked me wat's wrong.. then tell him lorz.. he say help me ask him.. aww.. so sweet and kind.. but i still dunoe how he will be helping me.. haiz.. whatever the result will be.. thx very very much =]

&the beauty.

9:05:00 PM

it has been 2 days since goush passed him the letter.. and i could not stop regretting for what i've done.. y in the first place i wrote that letter?? isnt things peaceful..? im so foolish.. so FOOLISH!!! what should i do now..? should i preach what i wrote and disappear? or maintain the same way..? i really just wanted to see his cheerful self once more.. but it will nv appear in front of me... nv again... i really wish to turn back time and stop all this from happening... but even if i can turn back time... i guess my feelings for him is still the same... i will nv regret liking him... nv.. but i may regret if my feelings for him made him sad or something...

&the beauty.